


Wish that I could wake up with amnesia

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, M/M, background Larry, eventual Zouis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 19:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1995327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Styles had been killed in a car crash leaving Louis broken, will Zayn be able to piece him back together again</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wish that I could wake up with amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> My first Zouis fic, kudos and comments appreciated

Today was the day, the day that Harry would be buried. My Hazza, killed in a car crash, I still couldn’t believe it, I would wait to hear him run up and yell “surprise” but he didn’t. He lay there in a coffin, dead to the world. I sat in the pews of the church, tears running down my face as everyone spoke about how much they loved him. Zayn held me close as I sobbed into his suit. Everyone saying how sorry they were that this had happened, but they weren’t my Haz, they didn’t matter. I wanted him not anyone else, I wanted to see his dimpled smile, his bright green eyes sparkling with mirth but he didn’t he lay in a coffin. I could see Anne weeping and Robin holding her as she grieved for her son. Harry was an inspiration to all, he was perfect and I wouldn’t change anything about him. I loved him, I loved the way he knew how I liked my coffee in the morning, how he knew what to do to make me laugh even when I was crying. I wished that I was there in the car with him; my world was nothing without him.  
“Go on Tommo, your turn.” Zayn pushed me and smiled weakly at me; I took my stand and sighed.  
“Harry Edward Styles was my boyfriend; I don’t give two fucks what the media say, sorry for swearing. Hell, I was going to propose and then we’d be fiancées but I can’t because he’s dead. I find myself waiting for him when I sit in the car only to realise that he’s gone. It hurts so fucking much, it hurts that I won’t ever be able to fall asleep in his arms, it hurts that I won’t ever be able to see his dimples smiled anymore and it hurts that I won’t be able to tell him how much I love him. I love him to the moon and back, we’d used to joke that we would get tired of each other, being together since the ages of 17 and 19 but we didn’t, Harry always did something that made me fall in love with him even more if that was possible. I never thought it’d end like this, I thought we had many more years with each other, but I was wrong, so fucking wrong. It’s not fair, not fair that we won’t be able to walk hand in hand together down the street because he’s gone, forever. I hate that we had to have this secret love scandal, as if it was wrong. I could tell that it hurt Harry so much, he wanted us to confess our love to the world but it wasn’t possible because management are a bunch of homophobes, Harry if you’re listening, please remember I will always love you.” I wept; I stepped down and made my way back to Zayn. My body racked with sobs, I was not okay, and I wanted to sleep forever, next to Harry. Zayn tightened his hold on me.  
“Shhh, Lou it’s going to be okay. It may not feel like it now, it probably feels like your world is caving in but we’ll be there for you.” Zayn comforted, I smiled feebly. We made our way to the table filled with food, who could eat at a funeral? I felt numb, nothing mattered now that Harry was gone, I smiled at all of Harry’s relatives, and Gemma ran up to me and hugged me.  
“Louis, Harry couldn’t have chosen a more suitable boyfriend.” She whispered, mascara running down her face, I nodded, feeling tears threatening to fall, again. We met up with Liam and Niall who were in no better state, Harry had become their little brother, and they felt his absence as much as I did. I saw Eleanor and she embraced me.  
“Louis, it’s okay. You’ll live through this; I promise it will feel better.” She murmured.  
“But El, what if it doesn’t, what if every day feels like this. I can’t even walk into his room without bursting into tears; the flat constantly reminds me of what I have lost.” I whispered, tears falling down my face, I remembered when Zayn had arrived and told me what had happened.  
Flashback  
“Louis, mate, I hate to tell you this, but Harry’s gone Lou, he died in a car crash.” Zayn said, I laughed, thinking he was joking but I looked back at Zayn and his expression hadn’t changed  
“Tell me you’re joking Zayn, please. Harry cannot be gone. I won’t let him.” I pleaded. Zayn shook his head. I felt like my world was caving in, Harry, my Hazza was gone. Gone, forever. I felt tears run down my face and curled up into a ball in the corner of the room. Zayn crouched down next to me and whispered soothing words into my ear. I sobbed into his T-shirt completely ruining it, we had sat there for a while until I got up. Me and Zayn had watched TV and I couldn’t help but feel Harry’s absence.  
The next day I entered Harry’s room and it felt too much like him, I couldn’t stop crying, I felt so weak, I was weak without Harry he made me strong. He was my anchor to this world and I couldn't function without him.  
I was awakened from my brooding by Zayn, we were in his car.  
“I said your goodbyes to everyone, figured you wouldn’t want to stay there any longer than necessary.” Zayn softly said, driving to my flat.  
“Thank you Zayn, I don’t know how to carry on, I miss him and it’s not even been a week since he left.” I said, playing with the end of my sleeve.  
“You don’t have to carry on alone Louis, you’re going to stay over at mine for a while, at least a month. I don’t want you wallowing Louis.” Zayn sharply said. “I know it’s hard, hell, it’s harder for you, but Harry would want you to carry on with life, I’m not expecting you to pretend everything is okay, because it’s not. I just want you to know you are not alone in this Lou.” Zayn’s voice softened.  
“Thank you Zayn.” I said sincerely. We parked up and Zayn lead me to his flat. I smiled as I looked around, it was so Zayn, and the walls were a dark purple and spray painted.  
“We’ll drive down tomorrow and pick some of your stuff up. Louis I don’t expect you to magically recover, I know it’ll take a long time, but know that it’s okay to cry and feel sad, but it’s also okay to feel happy Lou.” Me and Zayn snuggled up on the couch and watched a Disney movie, I fell asleep wishing that a true love’s kiss would wake up the dead.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's sad but it gets fluffier and happier, sorry for that


End file.
